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Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love - November 2014 PDF Print E-mail
Sunday, 02 November 2014 00:00

Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love

“Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times”. (Matthew 18:21-22). NRSV

What do you feel when you experience conflict? Would you describe those feelings as positive or negative? Those were questions recently asked at a Presbytery sponsored workshop on conflict transformation skills for churches that several members of the session and I attended. Entitled Healthy Sessions = Healthy Congregations, the workshop was presented by the Lombard Mennonite Peace Center of Lombard, IL, in hopes of equipping churches to work through difficult issues. While FPCJ is not currently working through any divisive issues, the session directed me to write this article to share with you some of what we learned. The skills offered at this workshop can also be applied to every day relationships.


Conflict has been around since the beginning of time. Most often people view it as destructive and therefore deal with it defensively, even destructively. The Mennonite Peace Center teaches that instead of seeing conflict as something to be managed, see it as something normal and healthy, as an opportunity for reconciliation which was high on Jesus’ list of priorities. See conflict as an opportunity for transformation, for in conflict we have the opportunity to see what new thing God may be doing.


We all know that peace with God and the peace of God is a lifelong journey. Scripture calls us to be peacemakers, repairers of the breach. Fortunately we don’t have to come up with a procedure by ourselves. The Bible prescribes a process of how to behave when conflict does arise. Matthew 18:15-17 tells us that we are to go to the one with whom we are in conflict (v. 15- negotiation); if they refuse to listen, then we are to take one or two others (v.16- mediation); if that does not work then we are to go to the whole church, which is something most people do not want. But if the conflict cannot be transformed (this is where it’s so great to be Presbyterian), this Presbytery has a mediation team called the Shalom Team, who can help with the resolution process.


I believe two of the most important factors in conflict transformation are mutual confession and mutual listening. If there is to be a genuine reconciliation as scripture says there is, then we must recognize that everyone plays a role in conflict. Start by finding the things on which everyone agrees, then work to find a solution to the remaining problem. Even if church members end up agreeing to disagree, the steps in “making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3) as both individual members and the body of Christ are important. These steps include:

  • Acknowledge together that conflict is a normal part of our life in the church. (Rom.14:1-8, 10-12, 15-19; 15:1-7)
  • Go directly to those with whom we disagree; avoid behind-the-back criticism, or “parking lot” meetings. (Matt. 5:23-24; 18:15-20)
  • Be firm in our commitment to seek a mutual solution; be stubborn in holding to our common foundation in Christ; be steadfast in love. (Col.3:12-15)


The church’s role is not to make reconciliation happen (God does that), but to create an environment where God’s reconciliation has a better chance of happening. So, may each of us do our part in the home, in the workplace, and in the church. I pray this is helpful in your spiritual growth as individuals as well as church members. May all God’s people say, “Amen.”


From Your Pastor’s Heart,

Pastor Sue



“” . From Your Pastor’s Heart, Sue

September 2014 PDF Print E-mail
Monday, 01 September 2014 00:00

“. . . be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may dis-cern what is the will of God” (Romans 12:2). NRSV

Human beings naturally seek the comfort of equilibrium; both the body and mind crave it. But there are times when steadiness is not what is needed. If everyone maintained the status quo we’d be a very different world; no electronic communication, no innovations in the medical community, and certainly no space exploration! We have been created with minds to “think outside the box,” to step away from only what is comfortable, to discover new ways of being.


Mainline churches all over the country are beginning to recognize that our comfort zones have been holding us back; in fact, they’re swallowing us up as if in a tar pit. This congregation has done great work in finding new ways of reaching out in our community. Starting the Fishing Ministry and welcoming The Front Porch Players local theatre group are two examples, but they are not enough. We are at a critical point in the history of this congregation. The reality is our offering receipts are not keeping up with expenses. But money is just the presenting issue; there are greater consequences at stake. Unless we find new ways of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ, the life of this congregation will be cut short, thus our witness to Christ’s presence in our community will die. In my heart of hearts I do not believe this church is ready to close, but unless we quickly and courageously step away from our comfort zones we will have little time left together.


What can you do toward revitalization? In addition to regular worship attendance, regular financial giving, and taking part in study and fellowship activities, your job is to consider what untapped gifts you will share that might spark new ways of reaching people for Jesus Christ. What are you passionate about? Perhaps others in the neighborhood around us are passionate about the same things (i.e.) running, walking, cycling, motor cycle riding, dog training, community gardening, art, writing, be it plays, poems, novels or short stories. No idea is too wacky. Or, will you help the Fishing Ministry become a regular, once per week ministry to reach neighborhood children? It could become a time of consistent character and faith building in their lives. Speak with me or an active elder and we will discuss your ideas at a session meeting. Better yet, you present your idea(s) to the session! There are new ministries and worshiping communities popping up across the country, some of them in existing places of worship.


Friends, truly I tell you, FPCJ is one of the greatest churches I’ve ever been involved with. I know you feel the same way. But unless we move from our zones of comfort toward revitalization, we risk becoming part of the national, mainline denominational statistics of church closings. Don’t let that happen! Please!!

From Your Pastor’s Heart,

Pastor Sue



“” . From Your Pastor’s Heart, Sue

April 2014 PDF Print E-mail
Tuesday, 01 April 2014 00:00

Set yourselves apart by your obedience to the truth so that you might have genuine affection for your fellow believers, love each other deeply and earnestly. 23 Do this because you have been given new birth” (1 Peter 1:22-23). NRSV

Have you ever walked into a place and immediately felt at home? House hunters often experience this; they say they “just know” they’re home as soon as they walk in the front door. That kind of “knowing” can happen when people are looking for a new church home, too. The reasons may be different for different people. For some that sense of comfort and belonging comes from the way a place looks or smells; for others it comes from the preacher’s sermon, the prayers said, or hymns sung. Still for others, that feeling of being home comes from the warm, authentic welcome they receive from the minute they walk in the door to your greeting them during the passing of Christ’s peace, to your invitation to fellowship after worship.


I want to be sure you know what a great job you are doing in being a welcoming community, of providing a place of refuge and sanctuary from the world. Recently, after worshiping with us for the first time, one visitor emailed to tell me how welcomed they felt, how genuinely friendly you were, how beautiful the music was, how much they enjoyed the Time with Children, and that they felt God’s Spirit move through the sermon and prayers. High praise, indeed!”


Part of being welcoming is being flexible; but more than that, it’s being aware of why we are to be welcoming. We are to be welcoming because Christ has welcomed us. He has loved and freed us so that we may not only know the gift of eternal life, but that we may know the gift of being part of the Kingdom of Heaven right here, right now. Scripture says we are to set ourselves apart by obedience to the truth so that we might have genuine affection for our fellow believers; so that we may love each other deeply and earnestly. We do this because we have been given new life through Christ Jesus, and now we are being built like living stones into a temple.


We have something very special at FPCJ. We are living stones, helping to build up the Body of Christ, a community where anyone who desires a relationship with Jesus will find one here. They will find love and acceptance and encouragement here.


Thank you to each and every person who welcomes newcomers. May you continue to ensure this is a place where all can come to believe, belong, and become Disciples of Christ, living stones upon which the Kingdom of God is being built.

From Your Pastor’s Heart,

Pastor Sue



June 2014 PDF Print E-mail
Sunday, 01 June 2014 00:00

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other" (John 15:16-17). NRSV

If you’ve ever lived in a home where you are responsible for maintenance and improvements you know firsthand, or can at least imagine, that when faced with choosing between food, medicine, and heat or home repairs, the latter gets pushed to the side. It doesn’t take much these days for families to be faced with making these kinds of choices. Some in our own congregation face these decisions every day. Ac-cording to Bread for the World, “we live in the world's wealthiest nation. Yet 14.5 per-cent of U.S. households—nearly 49 million Americans, including 15.9 million children—struggle to put food on the table.” (


The FPCJ mission team leaves on June 1 for Hampden, WV, where they will be working with WVMAW (West Virginia Ministry of Advocacy and Work Camps). In the past our mission trips have been to places where nature has taken its toll: Houma, LA and Hurricane Katrina; Sheffield, AL and Henryville, IN, where tornadoes wreaked paths of destruction miles wide. Paths of destruction aren’t only a result of natural disasters; they can also be paved by poverty and unemployment or under-employment. Our mission team this year will not be working in an area of natural disaster, but of economic disaster, something that affects more men, women and children every day than natural disasters.


Frederick Buechner, Presbyterian minister and author writes, “The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.” Please pray for our sisters and brothers in Christ because their lives will be touched, even as they touch others’ lives. Pray for them as they go to meet, serve and help build new paths for fellow sisters and brothers. Pray for them as they go to love others as our Lord has commanded, and pray that they will receive the love God has planned for them through those living in WV.


Pray for our 2014 FPCJ Mission Team: Alan and Carol Abdo Bergmann, Betty Bush, Melissa Ham, Anna and Dave Harland, Jane Luetkemeyer, Rick Riggle, James and Traci White.

From Your Pastor’s Heart,

Pastor Sue



“” . From Your Pastor’s Heart, Sue

February 2014 - Anger, Truth and Forgiveness PDF Print E-mail
Monday, 03 February 2014 00:00

So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. 29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. 31 Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, 32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:25, 29-32). NRSV


Have you ever heard of someone speaking poorly of you? Have you ever realized that someone you thought was a friend was actually speaking badly of you to other people? Have you ever been the victim of someone else’s slight? From the driver who curses at you, to the co-worker who snubs you, to your child who tells you to leave them alone, to the spouse who says things in public that embarrass you, to the church member who tells everyone else but you why they’re mad at you, it hurts to be on the receiving end of someone else’s smears, snubs, or snide comments. It just plain hurts and often makes us angry. Soon our hurt and anger can occupy most every waking thought. We concoct conversations in our imaginations to set the re-cord straight, to tell the offender how wrong they are, and actually how they’re not so great themselves! It’s easy to become enslaved by those feelings and to want to get back at the one we now view as an enemy. But when we do, we’re suddenly confusing personal virtue with sanctimony and moralism. These days it seems people adopt a “say anything” attitude, claiming to be speaking the truth, and when we’re angry, we have to be careful that the truth we speak is not as hurtful as what has been said or done to us.


Does it matter how we speak to and of other people? The letter to the Church at Ephesus says it does. The letter to the Ephesians insists that we are members of the same body, Christ’s Body, and therefore we have a responsibility toward one an-other. And that applies as much to the way we speak to and about one another as to any other aspect of life. In Matthew’s gospel, the first law which Jesus preaches to his disciples forbids murder and entrusts their brother’s well-being to their care. Even anger is enough to overstep the line, for “anger,” as Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in The Cost of Discipleship, “is always an attack on the brother’s life, for it aims at his destruction.” (127) But as followers of Jesus of Nazareth, we are called to put away anger, to pray for our enemies, and to assist others, even when they hurt us. We are called to embrace the love God has for us, so that we can help others embrace the love God has for them, as well. Everyone you meet is searching for meaning and belonging in life, and your job is to help them find it. The truth of our existence is that we really are each other’s keepers. We have an obligation to one an-other—particularly from the perspective of mutual faith—to relate to each other with love and kindness and compassion. Make no mistake: it grieves God when we fail to do that. It grieves God when we act in ways that positively destroy the fabric of humanity that the Spirit weaves among us. For God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth” (John 4:24). The way to keep the body of Christ whole and healthy is to practice forgiveness. It is the only true antidote for the poison of bitterness and anger. It is the only way we can fulfill our calling to be a sign in and for the world of the new life which God has made available through Jesus Christ, the One who cried out, “Father, forgive them.”

From Your Pastor’s Heart,

Pastor Sue



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